“Here is a lesson in creative writing. First rule: Do not use semicolons. They are transvestite hermaphrodites representing absolutely nothing. All they do is show you’ve been to college.”
1) Where in college was I supposed to learn semicolons? 2) What’s wrong with properly used semicolons? 3) Even if you’re Kurt Vonnegut, I must protest the blanket disdain toward semicolons; you may as well blame the apostrophe for its constant misplacement.